My Story

Wow, I dont even know where to begin! When I was just a kid, I was so active, I lived back in those day's where kid's went outside and played! I rode my bike, I played from sun up to sun down, my daddy use to whistle in the evenings to tell us it was time to come in, and every time I would fuss about having to come in from outside. I had a younger brother, his name was Jason he was only 1 year and 11 months younger than me,  we fought like cat's and dog's (just like any brother and sister would) but we had something special, we were best friends, there wasn't a thing in the world we didnt do without each other, we had all the same friends in the neighbor hood, we all played together, and had the best time ever. We had an open field right down the road from our house, and we would gather up all our friends in the neighbor hood and play softball, kickball, tag, and just run around and chase each other, me and Jason would take off on our bike's and ride down to our elementary school and go play on their playground, we'd stay up late talking, laughing, playing (getting in trouble)
We shared our room till we were both almost teenager's, we didnt want to sleep separate from each other, if we watched scary movies, I would always be the one that couldnt sleep at night, I was to scared, not Jason though, but he would sleep right next to me and talk to me till I fell asleep, or if I felt it wasnt enough I had to go sleep in my parents room, they would make me sleep on the floor at the foot of there bed, and Jason would tag a long, and we would lay there and giggle and talk to I fell asleep! Now we did fight, boy did we ever! but at the end of the day we were still best friends, We grew older our lives began to change, we were still closer than ever, but in different way's. I got married at a young age, 21 and moved out of the house. Me and Jason kind of grew a part, he had his own life, he had a girlfriend and she was his everything and I had a husband and was beginning my life. On June 4th 2004, my husband at the time, was going in for a new job and I decided I wanted to go to my parents house and visit for awhile, that day changed my life forever, I wont go into a lot of details, because to this day it is still very hard to talk about, but Jason was not himself, he had been sick for the past week, not feeling to good, saying his chest hurt my dad owns a lawnmower shop and Jason lifted a ridder by himself into someone's truck for them, so we all kind of linked his chest pain at the time to a pulled muscle, he just wasnt my Jason that day! He took a nap in my mom's recliner, which was odd, it was something Jason never did, then he went to his room, and layed in his bed, my dad went in his room and told him he had to get up he had a job interview at 2, Jason looked at me and said, please get me to Advil sinus, I have a headache, I got it for him and brought it back to him, and sat on his bed, and he looked at me and said "Stay", so I did, then he said I love you sis, I looked at him and said well Jason I love you too! My dad came in the room again to tell Jason to get up, Jason asked my dad for a pain pill, he said his arm/chest was hurting really bad, my dad walked off to get the pill and came back, I stood up said I'll be right back I was going to grab something to drink, standing at the ice box I heard my dad scream JASON! I ran back to his room and my dad was holding Jason in his arm's and Jason was lifeless, I ran to the phone crying and called 911, everything from here is a little blurry, all I remember was shaking and crying and lost, and hearing my dad scream and cry Jason wake up, come on son wake up, I ran outside to make sure the Ambulance found the house, I called Jason's girlfriend, and they were on their way, the paramedics came in and raced to Jason's side, we had to step out of the room, while the worked, Erin (Jason's) girlfiriend and father showed up at this time, so we are all standing in the kitchen just crying and listening, to this day I swear I still heard one of the paramedics say he's breathing, they put Jason on a stretcher and wheeled him out to the ambulance, he looked lifeless and gone, my heart sank! I called my mom at the school, she's a teacher and was working teaching summer school, so she raced to the hospital, as did we. All I remember there at the hospital was being called back were he was and right before we got to his room, we were stopped and told he didnt make it and we needed to say our good bye's I remember falling to the floor on my knee's in tear's. I cant tell much of the story after this point because I was numb and have blocked it all out! Jason died of his aorta erupting at 20 year's old!

Life was not easy no more, I fell into a deep depression, and took almost 2 year's to come out of, life slowly got better, the pain never went away, and to this day it's still there, my marriage at the time went down hill, and we ended up in a divorce I had quit smoking for over a year but with everything going on I ended up picking it back up again. But September 2006 I finally got my life back, I found a new job, that I actually loved more than anything, I looked forward to going to work, In October 2006 I met a new guy, he worked for us, he was our boat captain, and needless to say we ended up dating, we dated for awhile, and fell in love with each other, we got married December 15,2008 he has been my best friend, and an angel sent from above.

Over the year's I have gained a lot of weight, I have gone from 170 to 322, I have tried many of time's over the year's to try and lose weight but I failed and just gave up and ended up packing on more weight! Sean got a job transfer in September of last year and we had to move 6 hours away from home, I am now without a job, and I sit at home all day, and well yeap you guessed it gained more weight, I was so bored, had nothing to do, no friends here, no family, it sucked, then I finally decided with me not having a job, would be the best time in my life to begin losing weight, I began giving up the soda's In April, I was finally over that addiction by May/June, I gave up the sweet's and candy and junk food's, those were much easier to give up than the soda's. I quit eating fattening food's like pizza etc, I started eating healthier foods, like switching to wheat bread, eating yogurt, grilled fish, chicken and shrimp, and learning to eat 3 meals a day with 2 snack's in between, Well i dropped 20 pounds by doing so, I figured why not step it up a notch, I ended up finding me a great treadmill at Walmart, and bought it, my husband put it together for me, and I began using it and working out, it wasnt easy at first, because I was so out of shape, and had no strength and I fought the I dont want to's! I pushed through and keep on doing it, I have now lost 32 pounds and still going! Every day's a battle, it does get easier and becomes a routine, but temptations will always be there! I love water, I NEVER thought I would be one to say I LOve Water! but I do it's great, it make's me feel so much better than those sugar filled soda's! I still have a long way's to go on my journey on losing weight! I know I have strength to finish it, and do this, and become that active, fit, playful girl I use to be! I will be using this website to post my daily or weekly updates on how it's going and sharing picture's and video's of my process! Please feel free to follow a long and post any comments or questions you may have!!!!